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You didn't mention that you're gettin' hitched the day after Talk Like a Pirate Day, the best day ever!! Given that you'll probably be doing some BOOTY-shakin' at the reception, I don't think there is a more appropriate weekend for a wedding! Good luck with the checklist!
In Maine, notaries can perform weddings, and any Maine resident can become a notary. I know this because I became one 3 years ago so I could perform my brother's wedding. So if you know anyone who lives in Maine, you can ask them to become a notary (it's VERY easy) and they can perform your ceremony for you.